If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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