i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
