you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
