I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
This is my gift to your gina
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
