I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Randomize
