For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
