Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
