you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize