if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
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