Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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