How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
