How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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