I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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