i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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