yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
