I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
