Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
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Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
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When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.