im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.