I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
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