He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
