When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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