I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
