Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
