I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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