You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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