I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
