Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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