if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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