my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Randomize
