dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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