Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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