There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
