Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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