Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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