Sry I called you an 8
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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