I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
