im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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