i was born a porn star she said
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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