I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
