I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
