"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
handjob tips. give me some.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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