How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
