The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
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