whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
