drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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