Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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