i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
