i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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