she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
