Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
