For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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