help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
