hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
