The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
