If that was your dad, he is hot
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
