Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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