This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
