It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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