I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Alive.
So much puke
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
