Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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