are you still at the devil's house?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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