Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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