I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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