: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
