I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
