dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
